There is a time in life when we can’t get ourselves to think out something to complete our day or something tangible to satisfy ourselves in a particular situation. I’ve had these days and I must tell you, I know how it feels and it feels horrible. For some few days now, I have this total void of myself worth within, and no matter how hard I manage to concentrate, it don’t just work. It is like there is a battle going on inside of me and the ridiculous side of it all is that, I don’t know what they are fighting for. On the other hand, there is this person that is screaming to be let loose to show the world what he have to offer. No matter what I do, I don’t feel half the way I am supposed to feel and any little exercise have me gasping miserably for breathe. The days are tiring and it seems that my purpose in life is short coming. The people that I run to for help just don’t get me and just can’t understand how to help because I am not being productive in my explanation at all. I know deep down in my heart of hearts where there is no battle that everything is coming together for the new course of life that I have embarked upon but I am perplexed as per why it has to be difficult for me within me to accept the new me. This have me thinking why it is hard for the rejected side to let go. How come the unwanted wants and fight to be wanted? What do I have to enjoy from my own vomit? Why do the struggle so hard to stay? And many more.
When I decided to pursue the positive side of everything, I realized that any little attachment to the negative side affected the positivity that is building up within because at that time in my life, the negative side is the dominating factor of my life. I did do positive things in that life time of my life but it did not feel like I did something that I should feel great about. I saw it as a normal thing but I could not put a name tag on it. I get to realize that, any factor that dominate ones life is automatically the crown king of that persons life. The decide or choose to call it whatever the feel, you don’t have the right to be part of that decision making process because you are nothing but a vessel which carry them around why the make out your day, your life and cage you from knowing the truth about your existence and purpose by compassing your mind towards the things that feed them and make them stronger to stay in charge of you. Let me state this fact clearly, this is evident both in positive and negative controlled life. What you believe in life always make ways for you to satisfy them and keep them strong to stay in control of you. When push come to shove, the don’t easily bow out and let the new government rule, instead the create an opposition and fight. Though time conquer them all, but it’s something that don’t die a natural death, it hangs around and willing to creep back slowly if you let them. So you have to guard your mind, spirit with all diligence because the output is seen in the body. The body is nothing but a shell that labors in every direction and level the mind and spirit decide to operate on. The both decide what the shell looks like, that’s why we tend to decorate ourselves with different things be it for beauty, personality and so on. Honestly, titles do not bring entitlements.
Back to me, I used to be a victim of different type of addictions and social disturbances. To me it was the only reasonable way to live at that time but really not a good way of living. I know the truth but yet I was a prisoner to the fallacy. I see the life I yearn to live, the person I bleed to become, but it was far fetch no matter how hard I try to run towards it. My social circle did little or no good to help me, all the positive advice I listened to was a negative one in the sense that it made no effort of coming to positive reality when I try them so I classify them and call them names. And this is how my break through started….
Have you had those moments when all you really desire to have are very unattainable and funny enough the are not far away from your grasp? But the hustle there is, is no matter how hard you hustle to grab it, the more it slips away. Just like one marketing strategy clearly state; “create a want within your prospects that will have them hooked for life” yes that is the strategy that had me hooked for years pursuing the life I really wanted but never felt good enough to have it because I was supporting my struggle and hustle to positivity with the full back up from negativity. In a nutshell, I am being paid in my own coin. I created a desire that in turn created a want within me to achieve it. It is an ever blazing fire.
My partner Ms Kay clearly related to the subject and have this to say about understanding and winning in that battle field:
Feeling happy and finding life meaningful are both important and related goals. But happiness and life meaning don’t always go together. Mostly because what we chose to do regularly are unlikely to increase our daily happiness… So we tend to confuse life meaning with life happiness… While life happiness is about getting what we want out of life maybe money, meanwhile meaningfulness has to have more to do with giving, effort and sacrifice….. Our obsession with happiness may be intimately related to feeling of emptiness, or a life that lacks meaning.
So what meaning do you give to your life? And how can you give your life a meaning? What are you doing now that you know you can do differently in a positive light, but can’t get yourself to start? To all of us in the #GiftedPeopleTeam, we say;
Provoke yourself enough with the right questions and work yourself to actualizing the right answers..